How do I introduce my partner to sex toys?
Do you still chuckle a little when you hear the word "vibrator"? Then you are not by yourself. I know I should act more responsibly when discussing it with my fiancé, but I can't help but smile slyly.
But this wouldn't have been feasible a few years ago because we were still working on developing a comfortable sexual relationship.
It's very likely that you and your partner will have divergent perspectives and life experiences. Sometimes one or both of you may feel nervous about specific things, like sex, because of your personal background. And if you advocate using sexual toys? That may, however, unintentionally lead to certain conflicts and misunderstandings.
But, guess what? This isn't how things have to be. The first time you use a vibrator in the bedroom, you can do it with tolerance, clarity, and communication. Here are six actual ways to accomplish that!
Talk About It
It's normal for you and your partner to have different approaches to sex. While one individual may enjoy the concept of foreplay, the other may prefer to carry out the sexual act. Regardless of your sexual preferences, if you haven't used a vibrator together before, it's advisable to talk about getting one.
Furthermore, it makes no difference who starts the conversation. You might think about scheduling some time to chat over a glass of wine or while watching your favorite show if you know your spouse isn't very good at catching you off guard. There's a reason "Netflix and Chill" exists. Something about being close to someone you're attracted to in front of a TV screen tends to generate an alluring ambiance.
However, if your spouse is amenable to discussing specific subjects during breakfast (as long as the kids aren't around), you can bring it up then. It's acceptable if there are awkward moments in a chat, just as sex might include a variety of moments. The objective is to communicate desires and address any concerns that may arise, not to achieve perfection.
Offer Reassurance
It's crucial to respect how your spouse may feel because talking about sex and sex toys can evoke various emotions in different people. You can tell them that you appreciate their sexual performance if they're worried that you're not happy with it. A other means of providing comfort is to discuss the intimacy component. It's true that intimacy extends beyond sexual activity; you may also discuss how enjoyable it could be to use a vibrator together.
Sincere moment: I don't know about you, but when I can enjoy myself with my partner, I feel more connected to him, which increases my desire to have sex.
Research Together
Choosing a vibrator that both you and your partner will like might be challenging with the abundance of options available. Since no two couples are the same, it's likely that you and your partner will occasionally have distinct sexual preferences. Collaborating on research allows you to see what vibrators are available and helps you determine which ones are intriguing.
Consider this research as a sensual treasure hunt: are you seeking specific positions to elicit clitoral stimulation? Would you like to give anal play a try? Do you want something that will benefit you both simultaneously? Whether you prefer to shop covertly from the comfort of your home or in person at a store, there is a lot to learn.
In addition to providing a plethora of possibilities, conducting joint research can facilitate a deeper understanding of each other's motivations for one or both of you introducing a vibrator.
Become Familiar With Your Vibrator
After you get your vibrator, you may start your exploration. Reading the vibrator's claimed uses is one thing, but putting it to use is quite another. As you get used to the surroundings, this can be a perfect opportunity for you to enjoy a brief solo sex session or have your partner watch. You can advise that they schedule some time to experiment with the settings if you don't want them to watch you use the vibrator just yet.
To protect your safety and the safety of the two of you, you should also make sure you follow any cleaning instructions.
Take Things Slow
You don’t have to rush to finish a task while you’re attempting something new. Here, I'm referring to the possibility of having an orgasm or orgasms with your spouse. It's acceptable to take your time and discover your style. After you've determined which vibrator settings work best for you, you and your partner can experiment with holding it in various positions.
It's acceptable to stop using the vibrator during sex and take a break if you or your partner start to get frustrated. Frustration doesn't have to be a part of the end aim, which is ultimately whatever you and your spouse decide.
Talking about when the two of you want to use the vibrator together will help you introduce it gradually. Some couples may find that spontaneity works well, but if you and your spouse know what to expect, you may feel more at ease.
Have Fun
Above all, remember to enjoy yourself! Don't stress about trying to outdo each other; sex is what you and your partner make it. You can establish your own guidelines for when to use the vibrator during sex as you become more accustomed to using it together. Whatever you decide, never forget that you're both on the same side and that you want to have fun together. You never know—your significant other might surprise you by asking that you vibrate them as well!
